Critique my emai pitch towards companies with Instagtam pages

Hi BHW
I am writing emails to businesses with a instagram that is poorly managed (low engagement) and I am pitching a social media manager offer. I give a spiel about me and also attached a really indepth guide. (Not attached here)

Any criticisms or anything I should change?
I appreciate eveveryones opinion

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Hello,

Recently I was on your store’s site and was very impressed with the quality of your brand. I did some research and looked at your…

Critique my emai pitch towards companies with Instagtam pages